Downloading a Blueprint

A poem I wrote a year ago and found in the bottom of my suitcase. Felt brave to share so here goes!

This was written during my unraveling of ancestral trauma, alcoholism and the different creatures inhabiting my DNA that I was realizing I was falling victim to. This journey doesn't just end but rather the simple awareness and space to process this the past year has been lighting a fire. The fire is building towards love and away from the fear. I see you all and have compassion to all the wires of our DNA.

Love onward.

my form began in a cocktail

the toothpick popped my cherry before i came to be

the juice was squeezed out of my ancestors placentas

the poison was inherited from the assaults of my former mothers

and in this elixir came me

i ingested this downloaded blueprint

knock knock

who’s there?

kerry

kerry who?

carry trauma…

in these hips. in that blocked throat chakra. in those shattered ankles.

trauma that will twist and sprain the most powerful muscle of this body: intuition.

intuition got straddled with a collar and put on a leash by domination.

permitting this body to fold into a sponge for what they call childhood

a childhood soap opera of shattered bottles, forgotten assaults and terror

until the sponge closed for safety’s sake

i had fallen prey to the genetic imprint

victim hood cloaked my mind in its shadows

earth’s school was something of the heavens

i went early decision and enrolled in the school for autopilots

where i received a phd in loneliness

where my stories bled into cold sidewalks

and infected sister’s hearts

knock knock

who’s there?

a pulse

a pulse who?

a pulse in your pussy

whole body shatters like a jar of change on the sidewalk

time to take my power back

time to say yes to this body

time to rehabilitate intuition

may we rise,

sisters.